Gossip Is Killing Our People

By Kyah Joseph

The words “tea” and “drama” could draw anyone in. It’s one of the first questions friends ask upon a greeting: “Any drama?” But is that something we should really be proud of? Do we want to die on a hill of only being entertained with drama and gossip?

Let’s talk about it.

When you hear the word “gossip” or “drama” or “tea,” do you typically associate it with something positive or negative? Why do we as a society thrive on the shortcomings of others and their problems? Why are we so fascinated by the bad things that happen to our friends and others? When did we become so entitled to knowing the ins and outs of complete strangers to the point of judging them for a situation we know nothing about?

Don’t get me wrong, I am well aware that friends talk about more than just tea, but what is it about drama that gets people on the edge of their seat? I think it’s because we as humans have to know all the information in the world about every single person we’ve ever come across. But surely our own lives can’t be that boring.

…Right?

I mean, that’s the reason why we’re all so enthusiastic to share our own bad news with the rest of the world…wait.

Our insecurities make sharing any negative features about ourselves scary because we can’t imagine people talking about us the way we talk about them. And yeah, it might be embarrassing to admit that we’ve made mistakes, but that doesn’t give us the right to just talk about other people. 

I find it strange that we will jump at any chance to talk about ourselves in a positive light. A promotion, a good first date, that nap that just really hits different. But we don’t afford ourselves that same excitement when talking about the bad things that happen to us. The inverse can be said about us to others. We don’t really care about your baby’s first steps, or the really good Chipotle bowl you just got. What really matters is what made you stay up late at night crying and how can I learn more than you’re willing to share?

The idea of knowing something others don’t is compelling. Our only goal in life is to be part of the in-group and you know you’ve made it when you’re getting filled in on things others wouldn’t be.

I love a good secret, and I think everyone else does too, even if they don’t want to admit it.

So maybe it is just human nature, but a part of me still asks why. Why do we care so much, and why do we think it’s a personal attack on us when we aren’t told a specific piece of information?

I don’t have the answers, but I CAN tell you about this thing I just found out the other day…