In My Head

By Lily Hoveke

I’m awake, the sound of my alarm piercing through my ears 

I put on my outfit and begin the same day all over again 

Another day of existing as a ghost 

Watching everything around me and never being seen 

I feel so tired and I wonder when this will be over

…. 

Everything feels kind of dull and I fear I will get swept into the infinite nothingness 

I don’t want to become a victim of the void

I don’t want to be just another person lost in the infinite nothingness 

Bound to float around grasping at the straws of something

This can’t be all there is to life 

Please tell me this isn’t all there is 

Please tell me I didn’t stay alive just to waste my youth away battling my own brain 

Please tell me that it will get easier, that I’ll be able to experience joy again 

Please tell me that the nothingness won’t win

Because I’d rather be dead than fully consumed by this nothingness 

Please tell me this isn’t all there is 

There has to be more than this…there has to be more… 

Please, let there be more 

…. 

Tomorrow I will feel the sun on my face 

And I’ll smile and laugh with my friends 

The desire to bring light to the ones in my life will return 

Maybe there doesn’t have to be more 

This can be all there is, and that’s ok for now