Hey Language, My Language, When can I Dream in both Languages?

By Edcel Javier Cintron-Gonzalez

Hey Muse, One Muse, When can I rest, my Muse? / We are live streaming in a temporary space /where my muse visits me in my dreams / placing my body to rest after a long day of stress / a space where my body wishes to dream a long sleep / midday in the scene / a sensation some may describe as a nap while others / a moment of rest / where my mental state is covered in tamarind flavored ice cream / the one you can only get in the island of enchantment / where coconuts and passion fruit fuse together / to form vivid dreamsicles in your taste buds / where your mind drifts away to the illuminating beaches found in all directions around the island / a space in a vivid dream where islanders dream in two languages / a narrative, no… a memory / disguised as my childhood nostalgia / a moment where my Muse guides me in my first memory with my language learning / one language where your first words were about love, heritage, and kindness / when my mom picked me up in her arms and said “te amo Javi” / I learned to say it back “te amo mama” / where my Spanish was a secret language / only spoken at the safety of home / around the love and support of the community / as a way to calm down my fears in the face of natural destruction / in the face of swirling giants who took our home / my temporary space / my childhood… / the other language taught my five year old self / hope, friendship and success / as I gained friends who could speak my new language / as I gained acknowledgement for my almost native tongue / not the ones that sound like you are forcing the language to leave your body / where I become a walking Google translator in our family trips to Disney / where at the beginning, I thought my English came with the same care as my Spanish / younger me did not understand why the security guard stalked my mother and I for speaking our home language / younger me did not understand why people smiled at my pale skin / complemented my accent as it were a cloak of invisibility / a green flag to let them know I’m not a threat… hey Muse, one Muse… when can I dream in both languages, Muse?